Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Speaking from experience I think crying is one emotion you can hardly control. You may be watching a really sad movie and tears suddenly start rolling down your cheeks and you just can’t help it. Peeling onions also leads to your eyes tearing uncontrollably, it’s just natural.

In my point of view, whether crying is a weakness or strength depends entirely on the reason and situation at hand. I could be laughing like crazy and start tearing; I could be weeping from reading a sad story, not because I am weak but merely due to empathy. When you feel sorry for someone else, you tend to show a lot of emotion without anticipating it and instead of comforting them, you in turn need the comforting yourself.

In a situation where you feel so much joy, do you cry or laugh? In many a cases I would think the latter.  Sometimes you’re so overwhelmed with joy, laughter and blessings that you just cry because you are so happy and grateful. Would that be interpreted as a strength, weakness or neither? Who knows!

To me, crying is a form of release, releasing your emotions, thoughts and feelings. It’s better to let it all out and feel much better afterwards than to bottle it up and let your problem eat you up inside. So, in a way crying is healthy, maybe?? I dunno, what do u think??! Peace.

It's a poor idea to lie to yourself

Growing up I had a friend who lied about everything. Gosh she was EXHAUSTING! To a point where I just became numb to her lies and started making myself believe whatever she told me was in actual fact true, to avoid arguments.  The minute I came into contact with her, I knew she had a string of stories to tell me and I just had to listen, interpret and give my point of view.  Sometimes I just knew that she actually believes her own lies and needs professional help. To me, she can’t tell the difference between reality and her imagination.  Years later I just couldn’t listen anymore and decided to call it quits, phew!

How does sugar-coating reality make it any better or different? It’s like drinking alcohol and hoping it will drown your sorrows and all your problems will just disappear, they won’t. You are only making things worse for yourself and instead you could just face up to reality and solve your problems there and then, what could you possibly have to lose?!

On the contrary, what if lying to yourself brings about a positive energy in your favour? If maybe you convince yourself that you will get that promotion even though you know you haven’t been performing at the best of your ability, or maybe that your friend is not a bad person when deep down you know she is but you don’t want to accept it. Let’s face it, we all do lie to ourselves sometimes and maybe it’s healthyJ Peace!

Time or Money

In June 2005 right after I completed my National Diploma in Office Management and Technology, I got accepted at Lewisgroup for my internship and was really excited. I was going to be working from Monday till Friday and every alternate Saturday, and one Sunday in two months or so.  The pay cheque wasn’t that bad seeing that I was fresh out of school, had no responsibilities and this would be my first pay cheque ever, I was psyched!

A year or two went by and I was already bored, maybe I had lost my drive or the job was just not challenging anymore. I kept applying at different organisations and nothing suitable came along. More years went by and I got a job at my current company and this time I had to work shifts, including the weekend.

I have got to be honest, I enjoy working at this company but would rather work from Monday – Friday and spend the rest of the weekend with my family, friends, run errands, do school assignments, go to church, go out and just do all the things I used to do when I was younger. Atleast then I got to spend time with my family and just bond, love them and cherish all the things they do for me and also, get a chance to appreciate them and return their love.

Yes we all need to work for the money, but where does that land you? With less friends, no time for your family, always busy, abandoning loves ones, missing important milestones etc. Is it worth it? If you ask me, I would rather be poor and have all the love in the world than have the money and no love and thus lonely. Peace.

The sound of one hand clapping

You know when you are having a conversation with a friend, companion or partner and they just don’t get what you are on about? This conversation means so much to you and the person on the receiving end just doesn’t understand or respond accordingly. They are just not connecting with you on this topic. You try and try to explain what you are really saying and bleep! Nothing.

I am sure most ladies can relate when I say: Men can never understand what women really want or what satisfies us in relationships. We try by all means to send the message across but they just keep getting it wrong. It may seem like some sort of miscommunication but nope, its not. Men like to do things their way and women just have to compromise and follow the mans lead.

The sound of one hand clapping in this instance is when you can’t come to an agreement or consensus because the other person is struggling to hear you and receive your message therefore won’t act or respond accordingly. There is silence, confusion, frowns, no comment, question marks, “what exactly are you saying” types of responses.  You try to the best of your ability to get the message across so that you can both be on the same wave length and the conversation can carry on.
Do you then try to simplify your views, to make it easier for the person on the receiving end to decipher? Do you put yourself in their shoes and still not understand why they don’t get it? Or maybe they do get it but you are just not getting your desired response….it could be. Peace!

The right to an education...

A few months ago I was ranting and raving about my studies to a good friend of mine and while I was speaking, she just kept quiet. Oblivious to her never-minded attitude, I carried on about how hectic it’s going to get for me since I am simultaneously working and studying—no response. Then I thought, maybe she is a bit envious that I am studying and she is not, but then again it’s a choice right? Wrong!

Apparently my friend had not furthered her studies after passing matric due to finances. A few years later, she only learns from me that she CAN actually further her studies as there are financial aids and study loans available at all Higher Education Institutions. This was the first that she had heard of this and I felt really bad. Was it ignorance or was she really not aware that there is help out there?

After some research I have discovered that many students from disadvantaged backgrounds have no idea that financial aid is available to assist students who are financially-challenged and that in fact there is a brighter future out there waiting for them to pursue. If only a few representatives from education institutions could take it in their stride and visit all High Schools to explain the choices available to students and go into greater detail with regards to financial aid. There is indeed a need out there and it needs to be addressed, a plan had to be made.

Our future Professors, Doctors and Scientists are out there, they just need to be pushed in the right direction, let’s make it happen for them, for the sake of our country and the future of our children and their children’s childrenJ Peace!

Not all who wander are lost

Have you ever gotten lost on your way to a place you’ve been to before? Do you feel stupid on your journey or do you enjoy the ride? Do you take advantage and enjoy the scenery on your way, meet new people, discover new adventures or get lost in thought? After all you will reach your destination eventually, have fun on your way there. Getting lost should be great then, not only are you exposed to new places and things, you learn more about yourself while you are at it.

You know when you are scheduled for an interview at a location very foreign to you, it makes things easier for you to prepare the day before. The first thing I do is visit Google maps or even use my GPS to figure out where I am supposed to go, or even ask the people around me. Just picture yourself wandering around not sure of where you are going, cringing before asking strangers for help because you might seem stupid or they might give you the wrong information, it happens. Many people won’t tell you that they don’t know what you are looking for; instead they offer you the wrong directions to seem smart and knowledgeable.

Not all who wander are lost. You might cross paths with an individual doing research and he might seem lost but he knows what he is looking for and what he is doing, maybe even notice a tourist staring blankly into space. It is all an adventure to him, a quest to learn more about this foreign land, making new friends, discovering different customs, traditions and various cultures at a pace. It all depends on how you, the onlooker, interpret it…never assume…

Peace!

Ok, let me introduce myself..

I am an independent woman from the dusty streets of Gugulethu, trying to make it in this phenomenon called Life. As sweet looking as I am, many say I am not approachable and funny enough, I like that. I have been taken advantage of one too many times.

Likes and Dislikes…I like winter, education, reading, fashion, compliments, food, House Music and swimming. I dislike gossip-mongers, people who try by all means to pull others down, jealousy, liars, hypocrites, summer and Sinus.

I am a very driven individual because I have seen what poverty is like and wouldn’t want to find myself in a similar situation, hence im furthering my studies.  success is one of my main goals in life and I will stop at nothing to get what I want.

In the next 5 years I foresee myself as a PR Fashion Consultant at my own Fashion House. I absolutely love fashion and think im not that bad at putting a fabulous outfit together.

I believe in like at first sight and strongly believe in God. I believe it gets worse before it gets so much better, I believe that everyone has a good and bad side that they aren’t particularly proud of, I believe in love and that everyone has a love of their lives that they don’t care to admit, I believe that we are all talented and that we were born to make a difference on this earth, I also believe that we are here for a purpose and lastly, life is a prize.

I would like to be seen as a friend, approachable, a confidant, an exceptional woman, a fashionista, an intelligent lady and most importantly, a human being who makes mistakes like everyone else. Peace!

Taking care of the ones you love

So far, I have noticed one thing about myself. I have so many friends and family that care so much about me and I really appreciate that. The problem is though, that once I start noticing that someone admires or cares a lot about me, I try as hard as possible to push them away. I don’t know whether it’s too much pressure for me, having to live up to their expectations but I just cannot seem to handle it in the right manner. Some would embrace such blessings but it deters me. I somehow manage to disappoint such people on purpose so that they don’t develop these high expectations of me then I just portray this ‘i-don’t-care’ attitude towards them. I really don’t like this behaviour towards such important people in my life.

Through the 20-something years that I have been on this earth, I have only made a few friends, maybe 2-3 max, and that is not through my initiating these friendships. These people have developed an interest in getting to know me and I haven’t shown much interest in return but they stuck by anyway. I think I have lost the sense of the meaning of friendship as I don’t put in enough effort to cultivate the friendships that I have gained thus far. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the childhood friends I had never added value to my life, in fact my self-esteem got destroyed in the process but that is a story for another day…Peace

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

I think in this case the metaphor describes the ability of one to take risks. Some people that you can’t get far in life by always playing it safe. Well I think that taking risks involves getting burnt eventually, yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but why risk the danger if there are chances of no light at all?

Introducing yourself to someone you don’t know, approaching your boss about a salary advance or raise, calling up that guy you’ve had a crush on for years, applying for a new job or standing up to your employer are all different ways of taking risks. Is it all worth losing your job or rejection? But how do you know if it will or won’t work out unless you take that risk, theres might be something to lose yes but what if there’s something to gain? Maybe gain experience and more knowledge if things don’t work to your favour.

To conclude, anyone who thinks taking risks is worth all the trouble, go for it. You might risk falling but chances are you could very well win.

Peace!